I

I want to wear that dress she was wearing yesterday

I want to fill my Facebook wall with family photographs

I want to get wet in the rain and munch some hot snacks with friends

I want to do all this and much more and go to sleep in peace

I do not want to wake up and find newspapers with my name, discussing my clothes and my life 

I don’t want to be on Page 3, I don’t want to be famous

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I want to plan trips to the hill station nearby

I want to take pride in shopping during discounts

I want to sit at an old coffee shop and ask my friend to treat me with the costliest beverage

I want you to ask me which road I like driving on

Or how much I wish to donate towards children education related initiatives

I want to inspire you to be humble, I want to impress you with my kindness

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I don’t want to colour my hair or get them straight

I don’t want to dance in high heels or wear those flimsy drapes

I don’t want to look as pretty as her

I just want you to know how crazy I can be

I want to be embarrassed when I am slosh drunk 

I want to be answerable when I am too late

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I don’t want to read romantic novels when I like comics

I don’t want to go to a college that has no theatre group

I want to be me, myself but not selfish or self-centred

I don’t want to be egoistic but independent and confident

I want to be alone when I wish to and in a crowd when need to

I may not fulfil all your dreams but I want to be your pride

I may scare you at times but I will always be by your side

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I am not only pink green red and yellow

I am very black grey maroon and rarely white

I am someone’s creation but may be here to destroy

I may not make you laugh always but can try to give you tears of joy

I want the luxury to get lost and the comfort to hide

I am not an epitome of anything but just someone random under this vast dark blue sky

 

I want to live a life where I miss not some but many-body

And die when many are looking into my eyes

Goodbyes that last forever

So if you are lucky enough to have one cup of crazy funny friends, a tea-spoon full of internet connection and a small pinch of knack for reading I am sure you must have tasted the recent latest flavors of blog posts called ‘things to do before 25 or 30 or retirement’ or ‘places to visit before they disappear’ or ‘things to eat before your sugar level rises’!! I admit that most of them have been interesting. But that led me to think about why do we want to do all these things? So that we live life till it lasts. We might set a target but then we keep setting new targets so that we always have something to look forward to, isn’t it? I mean, a window is not really serving any purpose if you can’t have a view through it that you can stare for long.

So how about doing something that makes us last forever. What if we could leave behind something different, something innovative, special that could be like our essence to this nature, our flavor, our gift, our symbol to say that ‘I was there too’. I guess a Facebook status saying “Been there (life), done that (lived)” kind of stuff.
They can be imaginary like a unicorn (I still think they exist somewhere) or an organ donation (like the eyes keep seeing the marvels of this nature but the soul they enlighten keep changing) or an advice, a song, a picture, a tune that reminds people of us.

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So here is my,( call it what you want to,)… my list of things that I can imagine one would like to leave behind while we are busy saying Goodbye the last time:

1. A beautiful metal cage with an open door but the pink and blue colored butterflies flying inside do not leave the cage

2. A flower that blooms every morning and sleeps when the sun sets, but while it turns into a bud every evening, it spreads its melancholy fragrance all night until it blooms again next morning

3. A novel with a patch of a leaking coffee cup on every other page making it smell of warm coffee all the time

4. The sound of waves as they come down to settle kissing the sand on the beach

5. A finger ring that becomes tighter when one is in a crowd to remind that they are held tightly together by the forces of nature however lost one may be feeling

6. The sound of wind chimes even when there is not breeze to break the silence of loneliness

7. A candle that keeps glowing and its flame changes color as per our mood

8. A photo-frame which shows photographs of people we are thinking of at the moment

9. A handkerchief with a beautiful embroidery of a pair of sparrows sitting on a branch

10. A swing with fairy lights wrapped around its strings twinkling all the time and when someone swings on it they can hear the guitar play!

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11. A tea-cup that leaves behind a stain of a smiley at the bottom every time someone drinks tea in it

12. A clock who’s hands have stopped working long but it’s alarm rings right when you need to be awakened to experience how wonderful life is

13. This one’s my favorite, an oven that bakes a cake everyday and it will taste good or bad as per what the person eating it has done that day, so do good and eat great !!)

14. A pair of shoes that leaves a patch of grass when stepped on mud

15. The sound of rain accompanied with the sweet smell of mud

16. A blanket that is always warm and smells of Mother

And now while I put my thinking hat on again and think of some other things to leave behind, do remember, that the nature is created in such a manner that nothing lasts forever, and its true. But the fact that you made someone smile today is going to be a part of the history of time and no one, not even nature can undo it. So keep spreading happiness until it’s time to say goodbye that lasts forever…

Poetry for the Soul

Sometimes being busy hurts while sometimes it helps to fill the gaps of time we don’t wish to go through. But sometimes these gaps become scars they burn, later they soothe, they take their own time. And it is times like these when the unexpected happens. You read poetry, it makes you smile or helps think deeper, feel better. It turns those unwanted gaps into escape passages you are looking out for to breath, to feel, to live. You may need someone, something to accompany you in that passage, a friend, a hobby, a book, a song. This time they were poems for me.

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So here I am with a random collection, of some poems which I felt I wanted to share.

This one by E.E. Cummings is just pure beauty; I think I had first heard it in a movie but dint pay complete attention as I don’t really remember liking the movie but did google this one later and it must be read completely. It is so simple to understand and comprehend and will make you smile from the start right to the end…

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in my heart)
i am never without it(anywhere i go you go,my dear;
and whatever is done by only me is your doing,my darling)

i fear no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)
i want no world (for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;
which grows higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

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We all have heard of Robert Frost and this one called “A Late Walk” by him is another great discovery thanks to the internet. It has that innocence of Daffodils by William Wordsworth as I had mentioned once in an earlier post… it’s not extra ordinary but ordinarily special and by the end of it my heart was out there searching for a garden for that single flower

When I go up through the mowing field,
The headless aftermath,
Smooth-laid like thatch with the heavy dew,
Half closes the garden path.

And when I come to the garden ground,
The whir of sober birds
Up from the tangle of withered weeds
Is sadder than any words

A tree beside the wall stands bare,
But a leaf that lingered brown,
Disturbed, I doubt not, by my thought,
Comes softly rattling down.

I end not far from my going forth
By picking the faded blue
Of the last remaining aster flower
To carry again to you

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If I were to go a little off beat here I would, to mention that a similar sense of simplicity and poise is what I felt when I read the book “Like the Flowing River” by Paulo Coelho, a collection of short sweet pleasant surprising and heartwarming stories. My favorite is called “The story of the pencil” it was the first story I had read in that book and I couldn’t keep it down till I had read all the others as well.

I think butterflies are an interesting topic on which one can write a poem. Their colors, wings, their life, there is hope, struggle, fun, cheer. Have you ever tried to catch a butterfly, once I did and when it tried to fly away it left some colors on my fingers and they glittered. They bounce from one flower to another with so much of elegance and zestfulness as if life is a lie until not lived to its fullest every single moment.
And so here I end this one, with a few lines by someone anonymous on butterflies, life and afterlife, all beautifully embroidered together in a lovely poem called “While waiting for thee” with a hope that you too come across those special lines that touch your cords just the way these poems touched mine.

Don’t weep at my grave,
For I am not there.
I’ve a date with a butterfly
To dance in the air.

I’ll be singing in the sunshine,
Wild and free,
Playing tag with the wind
While I’m waiting for thee.

When …

When
the “tring tring” of the telephones,
the “tack tack” of the typewriters
the scent of ink on letters,
the excitement of opening the envelops using keys,
the feel of wooden furniture on cold holidays
the coarseness of household linen for which you dint go to a special khakhi cloth exhibition
the heavy ancestral cutlery,
was the way of life…

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When
Every morning people left to do their duty
Every evening they were lazing at home laughing on the mishaps of daily chores
And that was their right
Every sorry had penance in it
Every thank you was filled with gratitude
Every relation was meant for lifetime
Every promise was made to honour
and ten sneezes bought you hot soup and blanket to wrap around…

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When
Home was where someone was waiting for what you really are
Friends were to be taken for granted
Nicknames were meant to have an embarrassing story to back it up
Festivals and family rituals were a store house of old memories with siblings
Photo-frames had a special place in every house like people
Neighbors knew what was made in your house last night
And the uncle at the store next to your school knew your favourite snacks

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When
Parents took us to our friends’ birthday parties
Cartoon network had a black n white logo while everything else about it was colorful
Music channels had 1 hour each for pop music, filmy songs, remixes and rock
You could buy only 2 music cassettes every month if you were good
Comic books were sacred and treasured for generations
Chocolates were to be shared and wrappers were collected in pockets
And you never wiped your own tears

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When
Vacation plans were made by parents
We dint play with mud the day custard was made for desserts
Rough note book was also checked by mom
Homework was completed before daddy returned home
Greeting cards were sent on new years to family and friends
Birthday dress was a ritual
Cold drinks with ice cream gave a high
And love was always true

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When
We dint have everything but contentment
Candles had an aroma of their own without any efforts
Making that slurppppy noise while having noodles or tea was law
Shoe laces were hidden to take revenge
Favourite subjects were taught by sweet pretty teachers
Songs had numbers and alphabets instead of lyrics
Hands were held, winks were casual, smiles were rare but free
Hearts dint ache, shoulders made better pillows and laughter made you cry…